Let’s talk about love, shall we? Valentine’s day might have come and gone but there’s still love in the atmosphere; let’s talk about how we can show and appreciate love. One of the all-time most popular topics related to love is love languages! What is a love language? How many love languages are there? How does it affect our way of showing or appreciating love?
Gary Chapman’s 1992 book – The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate popularized the concept of love language. It presents five broad ways dubbed “love languages” that romantic partners communicate and experience love. They include acts of service, giving gifts, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. According to Chapman’s theory, everyone has one primary and one secondary love language. To discover another person’s love language, he suggests observing how they express love to others and studying what they complain about the most and what they request from their significant other the most. He theorizes that people naturally give love the same way they prefer to receive love. Also, couples can achieve better communication by showing care and concern to the other person in the love language that the partner understands.
Acts of service: For a person who speaks this language, action speaks louder than words (and any other thing). Anything done to relieve the burden of responsibilities for that person is usually greatly appreciated. When you do something for them, they get very excited. Laziness, broken promises, and making more work for them communicate to speakers of this language that their feelings are not appreciated.
Giving gifts: Anyone who speaks this language thrives on the thought, love, and effort that goes into the gift they receive. This individual is not necessarily materialistic. A thoughtful gift shows that person they are loved, whereas general purpose gifts and forgotten special occasions are devastating. Gifts are visual representations of love and are highly regarded.
Physical touch: This language’s speaker expresses love by holding hands, having sex, kissing, hugging, and other forms of touch. They can express their excitement, concern, care, and love through any form of physical contact. Neglect or abuse can be inexcusable and destructive, whereas physical presence and availability are essential. In any relationship, physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging.
Quality time: A person who understands this love language wants undivided attention and no interruptions. Being there for this person is crucial, but genuinely being there – with the TV turned off, fork and knife put down, and all chores and tasks put on hold – makes them feel truly unique and appreciated. This individual may feel unloved if you don’t listen to them or if they are not given one-on-one attention for long periods.
Words of affirmation: This involves expressing love through spoken affection, encouragement, or gratitude. For someone who speaks this love language, words are crucial. Hearing that you love them, how much you love them, and why you love them is reassuring to this person. Insults and harsh words can easily bring this person down, even after a long period of time.
As simple as it may sound, it is necessary to know your primary and secondary love languages, as well as your partner’s. Knowing how to love and appreciate the show of affection from your partner can make your relationship or marriage a lot better and more enjoyable. It should be noteworthy that love languages are not peculiar to romantic relationships alone; they can also help to improve other forms of relationships. Check this tool to take a free love languages test today.